I had been having "female problems" for quite a few years - my doctor back in the States had wanted me to have a hysterectomy, but I was afraid of the operation and I didn't have anyone to take care of the children. So, now I was having more trouble...mostly from doing all the heavy lifting (milk cans, mostly). I was hoping the Lord would speak something to me about it all...or that I would be healed through prayer; but nothing happened. Finally, I could wait no longer.
We didn't have medical insurance; so, that was the first thing to get. There was no problem, we had been in Canada for 3 years. I saw the OB/GYN and he said I should have it done right away, plus there was other repair work he had to do. I was weighed and found to be mal-nourished, at 113 pounds. We ate good on the farm, but I guess most of the weight was burned-off, especially because I worked outside with the goats, in the extreme cold. I was scheduled to go in the hospital a few weeks later.
Now, there was a woman on the farm, who I knew had been believing God to heal her of hemorraghing problems she had for years...she had a lot of trouble with it. She had felt to believe God for a healing, I had not felt that for myself...so, I kind of stayed away from her - I didn't want any confrontation between us.
Finally, one day, we came face-to-face in the kitchen. We both knew what the other was thinking and began to talk about it. I told her that I had lived with my problem for a long time and didn't feel the Lord speaking that He was going to take care of it - and she said she felt the Lord spoke to her that He was going to take care of her problem...we decided to leave each other free to hear from the Lord, each in our own way. We hugged and that "wall" came down, that was between us.
I was all ready to have the operation; had my chores all relegated to others, the children taken care of, my suitcase packed, Joe and I were in town (stayed at a family's house overnight - they were so kind, insisted we take their bedroom and they slept on the living room floor); and were told, when we got to the hospital that doctor had to be away - his father was dying. Postponed for a month. Back to the farm.
There was a family from Texas, who had come to live at Graham River Farm, a few months earlier - they had a hard time with the whole thing and it was obvious. They were in town the day I went to hospital - I was so afraid that I would "stumble" them, if they knew I wasn't a "mighty person of faith", and was turning to natural medicine. I shouldn't have been that concerned; they had other things on their minds. It was either that day that they left for Texas, or maybe it was the next time I was in town to go into the hospital...we never heard from them again.
So, here it was, a month later, and I was about to go into the hospital. I had been feeling something that I had to talk to an elder about; I saw in on my way back to the family's house in town (I had been last-minute shopping). I told him that I kept getting the feeling that Joe was going to want to leave the farm - to live in town. He said that he didn't think so, but if it happened, I still had a place on the farm with the children.
I was scared stiff when I went into the hospital - so sure it was something that I wouldn't live through - I was ashamed of my lack of faith. A woman who lived in town (affiliated with the city assembly), had just had the operation; she came to the hospital to reassure me. It helped me a lot and I was very thankful she came - she also saw me right after I had the operation. We stayed with this woman and her family (in town), until I got stronger, after the operation.
We had been told that it wasn't necessary for our children and my Mom to come to town to see me in the hospital - but, an elder with his entire family (large family), snuck up the back stairs of the hospital and there they were! I looked "terrible", felt worse, and really wanted to see my own family...it didn't impress me too much.
This same elder had been with us on our way into town (for the hospital), and he had said something to me that really got me. He said, "I'll take my little notebook here, and you tell me everything you ever did that was sin. I'll write it all down here, we'll ask for forgiveness, and when you repent, you won't have to have the operation." The kindest thing I could think to say was nothing........ All of us still had a lot to learn.
Joe was staying in town until I could make the trip back to the farm; he had been in touch with his "airplane" friend; the friend had offered Joe a part time job to help us, financially, while I was in the hospital - he also offered him a full time job, if he needed it.
Right after the operation, when I was still coming out of the anaesthetic, Joe told me that he was feeling to leave the farm - to live in town - that he had been offered a job. We had NEVER spoken of leaving the farm, it was a complete surprise to me. What a time to pick, to tell me...I was barely awake. My first inclination would have been to stay on the farm, with our children - EXCEPT, right then, the Lord spoke these words to me, "Your place is with Joe."
Now, if He had said, "Your place is with your husband." I could have reasoned that it meant with my "husband ministry", which was the elders at the farm. But, He said, "...with Joe." I'm glad He made it that clear to me, because things were kind of foggy right about that time. I knew where I belonged!
I was having a physical problem, in the hospital, and needed help right away. A pastor from Good News Tabernacle had come and read off the list of who was in the hospital; I had put my name down as: “Born Again, Spirit-filled, non-denominational”; he came to see me. He talked with me for awhile and asked if he could pray for me - I told him I was still having a problem and would really appreciate his prayers. He prayed and then left the room; before he got to the elevator, his prayers were answered and the problem gone. We went to his church a few months later.
The woman who had helped so much while I was in the hospital, now had Joe and I live at their house (they also had a couple with them who were going to live on one of the farms, and they had people stay there when they were travelling between farms). Joe told them how we were going to live in town, but he had to tell the elders at the farm, first.
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Pen Name: Aimee Love
Graham River Farm - years later.