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CHAPTER TWELVE

Trying Times

It is now June, 1994...a lot has happened lately. For one thing, I have come to the conclusion that my "born again" experience with the Lord (back in Sept. 1969) was genuine. I can always count on Him; He "...will never leave nor forsake me." I have come to understand "...let God be true and all men liars." However good our intentions, our motives are not always pure; to a large degree we do make our own god (fashioned in our own image).

I have been having a lot of blood pressure problems, again. Was put on a third kind of b.p. medication...have been close to stroke, off and on for many years. Lately, I have been having suicidal thoughts and found out it was one of the medications I was on...Doc took me off it (I had been on it with a psychological dependency for nearly 12 years). Still, I have been depressed and can't shake it. I know there are areas in my life that I have to get ahold of.

I read an excellent book, "The Devastated Christian" by Gene Edwards. It is where I have been and where I still am...I asked the Lord's forgiveness for the anger and bitterness I still carried with me (adding to my physical and emotional problems). I know it was God dealing with me, at this time (and not just me, wanting to straighten out my problems) because I started to cry and some deep hurts were washed away. I feel like I can go on with my life, now.


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Pen Name: Aimee Love


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